Friday, October 28, 2011
I have debated all month whether or not to write this post. I am a food blogger, but I am also a mom and don't really talk about my children that much. That changes today, it is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month and I am sharing my story for the Million Moms Challenge.
Today is a very bittersweet day for me; on one hand it is my brother's birthday and on the other it is the day I lost my son Dominic. While I no longer mourn his passing; I celebrate the life and time I had with him. He had such an impact on everyone he came in contact with. He suffered with really severe eczema; so bad to the point where he would scratch until he was bleeding. He was the sweetest little boy you would love to meet.
The day he passed was much any other day. He had been fighting a little stomach bug and was laying down to take a nap, and being I was up all night with him and 5 months pregnant I decided to take a nap as well. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see him alive. I ran through all the "what-ifs" and "if I only just" thoughts, and I realized that what happened was beyond my control. Then I had to make a choice, do I let grief take over my life and not take care if myself and my family. Or honor him through my actions and by helping others.
Many people have said to me and my husband that they don't know if they could have survived losing a child; and I tell them if you have faith in God and believe in his word you can get through anything. I wasn't going to let the devil use this situation to rob me of my relationship with God. If anything it pulled me closer to him; all my strength comes from Him. I chose to live my life as a testimony to God's love and help other mom's who have lost a child. I recently saw the movie Courageous and the Pastor said that surviving after losing a loved one is like living with an amputation. You will never feel complete again, but learn to adapt and keep going. I think about my little boy everyday, but I will continue to honor him by serving others. If my story helps just one person cope with a lose then it will all be worth it. Be blessed and remember to cherish your children.